I know I did my best. And I also know I have absolutely NOTHING to apologize for. I also know many who DO! But I’m pretty sure..if it hasn’t happened by now..It NEVER will! People who don’t apologize for the hurt and wrong they have done..truly have NO Moral Compass.
You know WHO you are. It’s as simple as ABC.. It surely doesn’t take a fucken genius..But then again..maybe it does. Actually, Shame is what should be on the menu..
When there is group-hate..and chastises for NO FUCKEN REASON..then sadly they will have to live with that shit forever an EVER! The best part about the worst time in your life..Is when you get to see the true colors of those..you (thought) loved an cared for you, like you did them! So there is always an UPSIDE..Many very good lessons..
I am not without family..I am not without people in my life >> But..My circle has become much smaller..and who I let in..is extremely guarded — You don’t need to share DNA to BE Family! You need to share…LOVE > TRUST > LOYALTY.. Sadly I had none of that with any of you..BUT ><>< YOU ALL DID WITH ME! Key word here…DID ..
Just remember..We are free to make our choices in life, But we are NOT free from the consequences of our CHOICES!
I USE to care what you all thought, and was so hurt by your endless hatful treatment..belittling & SHUNNING! It tore me up inside, I didn’t understand it..EVERY FUCKEN MINUTE OF EVERY FUCKEN DAY!! BUT >>>> Like I said..I USE TO!
Your Silence was not only deafening..It spoke volumes of WHO you are?!
I have decided to set myself free..from my very hurtful binding chains > of you ~I%^~!@~›‹€⁄` >< Your certainly not Worthy of my Time..Trust..nor my Love! I am a giver, always have been. Every year I would adopt a family who couldn’t afford a Christmas or a Thanksgiving meal for their family & parentless children I never knew, who needed coats, shoes, & things. I even gave to many of you. I still give to those who need help when I can. Money means nothing to me. Really never has, it’s just a tool. What does matter to me is a person’s Integrity, Honesty, and Kindness to others. Just where do you believe you are on the Kindness scale? Are you ONLY kind to those who can DO things for you? Give shit to you? Meet your VALUE of WHO & WHAT someone is worth..TO YOU…Do you talk bad about people behind their Back..DO YOU SHUNN others..you know..those you have DISVALUED..Do you BLOCK others because they..Godforbid..disagree with you..or you disagree with them..
I don’t believe I will ever quite understand this NEW..shun thing..I’ve never experienced this shit ever before. So I’m not use to it. Must be a MEMEME..generational thing..Ya know..kinda like back in the old days, we had a name for people like this..COWARDS..BUT..there is always an exception..older people WHO SHOULD FUCKEN KNOW BETTER! RIGHT!! How sad! Makes me wonder..do people even have a..conscience anymore? WE use to say..”Let your conscience be your guide” <> I wonder..just who’s the LEAD SHEEP??? Maybe..Time for a new LEADER!??
My sister Gail always told me..”Joni EVERYTHING COUNTS”
I know I have been an asshole many times in my life..most humans have. I know I have always been a fighter.. But I can guarantee you, One thing is for fucken sure..I have NEVER KICKED someone I loved who was Down & Hurting! NOPE NOT EVER..that’s never been me! But I sure as shit know some who have actually gotten JOY out of hurting & causing pain to others! YEPPERS..Trust me, when you throw one of your Daggers into someones back, and think they don’t know..THEY DO KNOW!!
I truly hope none of you will ever have to experience anything like this..I doubt any of you will…BIRDS Of A Feather..and ALL…
Every nite, when I talk to Gail & God, I always ask the same question..WHY?
Still haven’t gotten an answer..
I’m working very hard to leave here. My illness sometimes slows me down..but I will never QUIT NOR GIVE-UP! I need to go back HOME! I will close all doors behind me..and I will NEVER LOOK BACK > !
Good Luck & Good-Bye..